The Daily Prophet: Volume 1, Issue 1

[Rachel Wilson]

TODAY'S TOP STORY

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Scandal runs rampant in the Ministry[/b]
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Last week it was reported that the Senior Undersecretary to the Minister, Harold Zimmer, was caught having an affair with his children's nanny. The week before, Margaret Optimus, Head of Goblin Affairs, was discovered to have been handing out leprachaun gold in order to pay for all of her debts. Lately, scandal seems be controlling the Ministry instead of the Ministry controlling it. It continues today, with our very own Minister of Magic.

Ulysses Urlington has been the Minister of Magic for three years, and under him, the wizarding world has continued it's prosperity. Stepping into Kingsley Shacklebolt's shoes -- the Minister who helped the wizarding worlds in dire times, when Lord Voldemort was still a thread -- was not going to be easy. Fortunately, he seemed to have filled them rather well. He continued Shacklebolt's policy, the Dire Deal, which aided families damaged by Voldemort, put wizards back into their jobs, and created closer ties between wizards and other magical beings. During all of this, he has been harboring a career-damaging secret.

An insider close to the Minister, who will not be named, has revealed this secret. We have been reporting religiously on the Muggle drug and alcohol smuggle that wizards have been getting involved in. The smuggling has caused several deaths, both Muggle and wizard. It has spread throughout Europe and has been threatening to expand across the seas and to Eastern Asia. The inside spoke freely about the Minister's involvement with this smuggling business, and even goes as far to say that Urlington has been involved since before the campaign. "He provides aid and protection to wizards who are participating," the insider said.

Urlington's background revealed before he ran for Minister that he had once been an alcoholic and addict of several Muggle drugs, including "cocaine" and "heroin". The Minister insisted that he was sober, and even had the medical records of several doctors to prove so. "This is all lies," reveals the inside source. "Ulysses has never stopped using drugs, hence why he is involved with the smuggle. It is an easier way to get his fix."

When questioned about the accusations, Urlington refused to answer, except to say, "Get away from my house." Rumors of his resignment have already begun to circulate.

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OTHER STORIES

Tension brews within Russia

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Yesterday afternoon, it was reported that the leader of Muggle Russia, Dmitry Medvedev, was assassinated during a speech in Moscow. Other Russian leaders, including it's Minister of Magic Vadim Kossakovsky, suspect South Korean involvement. "We will catch the person who did this, and they will be punished," said Kossakovsky. Military forces have been increasing rapidly in North Korea, although for what reason we cannot be sure. We will continue to report on this recent development.

Enrollment at Hogwarts at an all-time high

Enrollment at the wizarding boarding school, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, is at an all-time high. After the Battle of Hogwarts during the Second War, some officials suspected that the population at the school would remain low. However, years later, they have been proven wrong. Parents continue to send their children to the school, perhaps even eagerly.

"If there ever is another conflict, I know that my child will be safe at Hogwarts," says one parent.

Another conflict is unlikely, however. Security has been increased since the epic battle of 1998. The hidden defense mechanisms have been updated, says the Headmaster. Also, there is a heavy moderation of secret passageways and the infamous Room of Requirements, in order to prevent another break-in.

Clearly, the future looks bright for this school where so many wizards have come to learn. Hopefully, it will stay that way.



© Photos by Jessica Alba.

[Rachel Wilson]

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